So, You Don’t Want To Go Home For The Holidays
Everyone always talks about how excited they are to leave school. They talk about leaving their cold dorm rooms, ending the semester, seeing their family and friends from home, and resting. Home is warm and welcoming – a place of good memories and laughter.
But what happens if this is not the case for some? It certainly isn’t for me. As someone with a complicated relationship to home, it often leaves me more anxious than excited to leave the quiet and amazing life that I’ve created for myself at school. I have a rocky relationship with my parents and extended family as well as no friends to see when I go home. It does not mean that I am ungrateful for the things that my parents have done for me, or that I’m not excited for certain parts of the trip, but just that home is not all that it can be cracked up to be. Also, because of my on-campus housing, I have to go home for winter break. So, while most blogs I’ve read say “it’s your choice!” or “you don’t have to go home if you don’t want too!”, going home is a necessity for me.
Here are some things I used to cope with during my time at home, even if I didn’t really want to leave.
Stay in touch with my friends from school.
I love my friends. Although, when I am home and cannot see them as often, I find myself worrying that our dynamic changed, or our friendship isn’t the same as it always is. Also, my boyfriend and I are long-distance during the holidays, so many of the people that I see regularly are suddenly miles away. I shut down, don’t answer texts and emails, and often forget to barricade myself from the world when I am so stressed and alone. But I always regret doing this. And I love that my friends understand this about me and give me grace when I don’t answer right away, but I’ve found that putting to call and talk to my friends often gives me more happiness. The act of calling may make me anxious, but I know that they will always cheer me up no matter what.
2. Keep busy with a hobby.
I love reading. I love crocheting. I love watching movies and TV shows. And by doing all these things, I keep my mind and body busy. I often feel guilty for wasting time with things that aren’t school or work or club-related, but it’s important to do things that I like, especially when I am on a break and need time to relax after finishing finals.
3. When I can, go out and do things on my own.
Ever since moving to the city for most of the year, I have sold of my car at home. And since I don’t have a car while I am home, so most of my outings depends on who’s car I can use or who can take me there when they have a free moment. I have to admit that it doesn’t happen often, but I like taking myself out on a small outing by myself. Whether to a coffee shop, a used bookstore, or to walk around the mall I find that getting out of my house for a few hours is often the best way for me to breathe while feeling cramped in my very full house. Also, this outing doesn’t have to be grand. Even taking my dogs on a short walk up and down my street has helped me feel so much better.
4. Get a seasonal job.
I know that for most it is a necessity, but getting a job is a productive way to spend a break home from school. Getting out of the house and working is a good way for me to spend my time productively doing something that I know will help me out in the long run. Previously, I’ve worked retail or in a coffee shop, or even just helped my mother clean her office for some extra cash. It may not be the most exciting or relaxing way to spend break, but I’ve never regretted working for some extra money.
5. Make the most of it.
At the end of the day, making the most of the situation might be the best option. The holidays may not always be the best, but something about growing up and moving out for most of the year has given me the strength to let all the punches roll off. I’ve become a much stronger person and am able to give myself grace while at home, and I’ve put building blocks into place that let me experience everything in my control. It’s not always easy, believe me I understand all too well, but the holidays aren’t forever, and it will not always be like this.